Begin Again

"Don't you know you could have anything you want in life? You've only got to want it bad enough... Do you want it?!"

Those are the last words Regis Philbin heard his Sergeant say before he started his career in television. And those will be the last words I tell myself as I cross that finish line in less than a month.

Tonight closed out a groundbreaking week for "my full 180." Not only did I have the pleasure of meeting one of the most legendary NBC Pages of all time and celebrating the NBC Page Program's 80th Anniversary with some of the greatest people 30 Rock has ever (in)bred, but I took a moment to step back from the wackiness of life and realize what is going on here...

1. T minus 30 days until race time!
2. The end of summer.
3. The beginning of my new life. 

30 DAYS IN SEPTEMBER
9/25 - I'm not going to lie, I fell off the training wagon a little. I find myself reading more articles about running than actually running. I never got around to buying that foam roller. I missed a group run at my five year college reunion because I was hungover. I haven't flossed my feet! How do I taper my training 3-4 weeks out, when I'm less than four weeks out and have never run 3/4 of my final distance? The sun rises later and sets earlier, so there's no way with my 8-7 job to ever see/run in the light of day again. The temperature is so cold at 5am I have to thaw my arms to get my sports bra on. I put my long-sleeve Under Armour on to make the first mile bearable, and then I want to burn it two miles in when I'm sweating my ass off. A few times I actually would have thrown it out on the side of the street if it didn't cost more than my non-subscription to Netflix. And today when I was being chased by two raccoons (NOCTURNAL creatures), I prayed for the good old days when dodging pigeons was a minor inconvenience. It's crunch time.

SO LONG SWEET SUMMER
9/22 - The Autumnal Equinox. It only happens twice a year, when the plane of the Earth's equator passes the center of the Sun. At this time the tilt of the Earth's axis is neither away nor towards the Sun. Night and day are about equal length, a perfect balance.* And I can say for certain that this weekend I finally found my balance. Most people are sad to see summer go, but I welcome Fall with open arms. PSLs (Pumpkin Spice Lattes), Pumpkin Spice Pepperidge Farm Swirl loaves, fall foliage, sweater weather, homecoming. It's also the time to look back on our favorite summer memories, maybe our favorite Summer Songs. For me it was the summer we found each other...

BEGIN AGAIN
9/19 - It worked. It was a long journey, it still is a journey, but the awkward girl let go. And boy, did she let in someone good (#4). The significance here is so much more than a Facebook status change or a title (that I couldn't be more excited or feel more lucky about, by the way). It's a reminder to anyone that has loved and lost that you can begin again. It doesn't have to be a significant other. It could be a loved one, a job, a hot dog torta that isn't on the menu anymore... but eventually when you learn to let go you make the necessary room in your life for something better. I know there are no words that people can tell you when you are in that dark place to make the pain go away, but hopefully you can chalk this blog up as just another testimonial that it (this) too shall pass.

So don't you know you can have anything you want in life? You just have to want it, like Regis.

*SOURCE: Wikipedia.com