Beginner's Hurdles

Three things happened this week that took me to the next level in running rockstardom. I'm not talking about breaking records for distance or crushing pace. I'm talking:

1. Group Runs
2. Morning Miles
3. Fanny Packs

All three are attainable, my friends. I'm not sure about sustainable, but I'll report back.

GROUP RUNS

I love people, I really do. But running with them? Before this weekend, I couldn't imagine liking that so much. Picture me sweating bullets while the person next to me indiscreetly stares up at the sky to see if it just started drizzling. Or me panting so hard the person next to me politely adjusts their headphones to omit the background noise. Or me running at such a slow pace that the person "running" with me is really speed walking... backwards, like a tour guide. Well, turns out all of those things were irrational fears of mine. And by the time we hit the ground running at the first occasional Running of the Mules this weekend, I realized I felt comfortable. I could laugh and talk and run, all at the same time. Not to mention having a support system to answer all my awkward running questions. By the way, 25% of us were running commando. 

MORNING MILES

Today marked my first morning run. I set my alarm for 5:30am. Disgusting. Um, this is why I moved to New York - to never see those numbers on my non-iPhone again or hear that painful sound that makes my circadian clock bleed. But once I actually got out the door, it was pleasant. No one is out, except the runners. And as your eyes lock on the uneven sidewalk, you send telepathic thoughts, "Yeah, we're up. We own this block. We built this city with our own two quads..." Or maybe just "I hope I don't fall and break my ankle.  Is this guy going to go right, or do I have to go left? Do I have a wedgie?" Many questions arise. But the real best part about running in the morning is the simple fact that you don't have to again in the afternoon. Or the night. It's like a "Get Out of Jail Free Card" for running even though you already did it. Let's not overlook the fact that I'm still equating running to being in jail. 

FANNY PACKS

Running is not cheap. The registration fees, the tech wardrobe, the gear.. the FANNY PACKS. I always appreciated a good fanny pack. But after someone so generously loaned me theirs over the weekend, I realized why so many people opt to wear the scary blood pressure cuff instead. I guess my hips don't lie when I'm running, because that fanny pack became a second bra every other step. So immediately following the run I made my way back to the running store to purchase an arm band. And my life has never been the same since. Granted it's only been three days, but they've been a pretty solid three days. 

So grab a friend, wake him/her up early, and tighten your fanny pack if it suits your fancy. It's go time.   

Pure Imagination

"If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. Want to change the world...

...there's nothing to it." - Willy Wonka

Last week I got to meet the man of my dreams - Gene Wilder. Sorry future husband, you will just have to accept me on one condition. I will always love the candy man. And if you happen to be a candy man, there's a 90% chance you are my future husband.

Now I could write pages and pages about Gene Wilder's dramatic (and comedic) genius, but for those of you who know me, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory has defined my mortal existence. I dream of golden tickets every time I open a chocolate bar. I get scared I'll turn into a blueberry if I chew  gum. I lick wallpaper... um, that's not true. But I did make lickable wallpaper once when I converted my childhood home into a chocolate factory and my best friend drove me around dressed as an Oompa Loompa. Inquire within.

But what I love most about Gene Wilder as Mr. Wonka is how he had a hand in making that character as magical and mysterious as I will always remember him to be. At the event, which also happened to be a book signing for his latest romantic fiction Something to Remember You By, Gene relayed a story about one of his "demands" for taking the part.

"When I make my first entrance, I'd like to come out of the door carrying a cane and then walk toward the crowd with a limp. After the crowd sees Willy Wonka is a cripple, they all whisper to themselves and then become deathly quiet. As I walk toward them, my cane sinks into one of the cobblestones I'm walking on and stands straight up, by itself; but I keep on walking, until I realize that I no longer have my cane. I start to fall forward, and just before I hit the ground, I do a beautiful forward somersault and bounce back up, to great applause."

Why did he want Wonka to make this entrance?

Because "from that time on, no one will know if I'm lying or telling the truth." 

Brilliant. And how am I going to relate this back to running? This journey is (hopefully) my most memorable entrance.  I've always wanted to keep people guessing. But I've also always wanted to give people the same faith in pure imagination that Willy Wonka gave me. And how fitting to think that my journey will end (or really just begin) at Hersheypark - one of the most popular chocolate factories in the United States. 

And for those of you who have been wondering where has Gene Wilder been hiding, having not been seen in a movie or on stage in 22 years?

"My agent has tried, but I don't like what I see. There's so much... swearing. And bombs, and fighting, and... swearing. I'd much rather write, drink some tea, give my wife a kiss, and write some more." 

A great man, and a night I will always remember. 

Now hold your breath, make a wish, count to three. Come (run) with me.

Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Progress

Today I installed my air conditioner window unit. You know what that means... summer is coming. As it gets warmer I'm getting more and more fearful of training outdoors. I sweat enough as it is in a temperature controlled environment. My advice to those people who sweat too much when they run: read this, instead of this. I would much rather like to think I'm just losing cute little beads of plasma instead of having hyperhidrosis. 

But before I get ahead of myself, I really couldn't have asked for a more perfect weekend. Let's erase Friday night - I mean, doesn't the sky eventually run out of water?! There really is nothing like a partly cloudy seventy degree day. I'm talking straight up fluffy cumulonimbus. None of that overcast stratus BS.

Or lying on your back in Prospect Park looking up at this with great company...

And running on a partly cloudy seventy degree day? Even better. I almost scared myself today when I chose to go on a run to get rid of Sunday Syndrome instead of staying in to soak in my "Sundays suck" sadness. Who am I?

On a random sidenote (because there really is no other way to sidenote here), I cracked an egg this morning and a chicken fetus came out... like way past the yolk phase. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

And never underestimate the power of Under Armour HeatGear activewear.

[BONUS CAT]

Suffering is Optional

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Say you're running and you start to think, Man this hurts, I can't take it anymore. The hurt part is an unavoidable reality, but whether or not you can stand anymore is up to the runner himself."

Today I had this overwhelming urge to go to Barnes and Noble after work. I love that labyrinth of literature. I didn't have a certain book in mind to purchase, I just knew I couldn't stand one more subway ride home reading AM New York or making to-do lists over and over in my mind while simultaneously thinking about all of the communicable diseases I was going to attract by holding the pole on the train.  I wasn't going to remember to use hand sanitizer, even though I would make a silent pact with myself to start... next ride.

And then I found this:

The back cover (yes, I do judge a book by its cover) reads, "An intimate look at writing, running, and the incredible way they intersect." IDENTITY CRISIS! Am I Haruki Murakami?

And just like Haru (I imagine we would be on a nickname basis if I ever met him), I am creating my own life lessons with each and every run I write about - by actually putting my body in motion and discovering that suffering is optional.

I've got some fun runs scheduled for the next few months to help me train, kiddos. Want to join? And when everyone decides to stop celebrating the most amazing gifts of matrimony and childbirth [to be read with a hint of sarcasm and jealousy], let's go for a run!

Queens 10k - July 21
Color Run NJ - August 31
Electric Run NY - September 28